Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
