I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Please don't give away my fajitas
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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