I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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