handjob tips. give me some.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize