I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
