you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
