it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
