two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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