what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
