I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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