love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
