U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
