THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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