Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
