I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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it glows. i had to have it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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