I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
