No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
