Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had sex on a roof
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
