Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
