Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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