Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
