They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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