But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
