I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
