he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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