You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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