I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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