She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
