at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
