I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
