she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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