i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
