Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me