Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.