no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
