Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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