you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
