I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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