i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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