I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
