You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
