I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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