We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
