she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
