I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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