so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
