HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
