is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
