sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
