it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize