I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
