I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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