I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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