Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
