so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
