i just wanna soil my oats bro
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
