I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
