That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
