GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I haven't been this sober since birth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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