The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
