Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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