I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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