have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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